... because life's too short to do anything ALL the time . Creativity and positivity are my "hiraeth"

Monday, 8 November 2010

Not for the Faint Hearted

No one ever said that living this life would be easy. At the moment I'm finding it all particularly difficult.

Having created SO much over the last few months, I'm at the moment feeling a bit sorry for myself and despite being permanently inspired to do, make and create, I just can't seem to get it together enough to actually do much of it.

Given my struggle, rather than creating a whole lot of mess and further things for me to do, I'm concentrating on finishing Josie's blanket. I have a ball and a half left to knock out and then it's done. I try very hard to enjoy the process of creating as much as the starting and finishing, but when you're working on a big job like this (each row takes 22 minutes at least), it's the "past half-way but not at the end yet" point that I'm struggling with, the same as my weight loss.

I think at this stage the hunger for the project and the task depletes and it's hardest to get on. I'm really happy with my weight loss so far, and I feel so much better, but I have still got rather a lot to go to achieve what I want and the health benefits that should bring. I guess, thinking about it, I'm at this same point in several ways, the final push is always the hardest.

On Saturday I had to go to Cardiff, much to my dismay. It was match day and it's always chaotic and it didn't disappoint. But it was unavoidable. We have a very important family wedding in two weeks time that we're all looking forward to and Meg needed a new dress. Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about clothes shopping, but, I've always said I wouldn't force my one and only pet teenager to live by my madness. As a result of her not being forced to, she chooses a lot of the time to spend in the same way I do (charity shops first) but she felt it important to have a new dress. So we had to look. And I hated it.

When I walk into a high street shop I can feel my senses being assaulted by the marketing people at every turn and I hate that it makes even me think "I really need that thing". And there were some things that I did want. Of course I didn't buy any of them, but I really wanted them. I can't even remember what they were now, but in that moment, your rational mind does not see that.

So, we picked a plain dress, plain shoes (which were needed anyway) and we have embarked on a treasure hunt to make a fascinator. Something unique, very attractive and hand made. And she's more excited about that than the dress. I think that's what one calls a success. Teenagers are always going to "need" new dresses, it's generally up to you to manage the relationship with those things.

Re-use, recycle, re-create! That's what it's all about.


  1. Hi Bethan, I did a wedding recently on a shoe string and my fascinator was in the sale at Asda (I think it was Asda could have been Sainsbury's one of them anyway!) for £1 and I only wore it for the service then took it off so its yours if you want it. email me and I will let you see a picture. Tried to email direct and it would not let me - must be the same problem you had when trying to send your comment to me.
    Beverley xx

  2. Oooo thanks Beverley! That'd be great :) Will mail you shortly xxx

  3. ((Hello Bethan))

    When I was making the pieces for my degree show in June I felt exactly the way you did, only I had the added factor of realising I had allowed myself to be sent down completely the wrong path by my tutors, and I did not enjoy it at all.

    The extra work entailed in changing medium also kept me indoors a lot during the lovely spring we had, taking me away from my new exercise regime so I did put on a bit of the weight I had earlier lost. Now whilst I'm not into appearance as a general rule, it was the feeling of fitness that I was really enjoying (it's absolutely true that exercise makes you a little big high! haha) and not having that outlet got me right down in the dumps.

    I found that I had to make an effort to stop that chatterbox in my head telling me I'd slipped back and gently remind myself that I'd done really well so far and that it wasn't the end of the world, I would find space and time to get life back on an even keel once Uni was done. It's slow but I'm getting back to my old routine and trying hard not to kick my own backside too much. ;-).

    I hope you feel better soon x

  4. Gaina, that was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Thank you so much, I am incredibly grateful for that xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  5. Hi Bethan

    Hang in there girl. From what I can see you're doing great.

    Whenever I feel like you are feeling right now, I try and "have a word with myself" and remind myself that:

    a) We are only human and can only do so much at one time

    b) If I can't immediately change the situation that's frustrating me, then I try to change my perception of that situation (re-assess my expectations if you like).

    Some of us expect much more of ourselves than we would ever do of other people, and sometimes TOO much.
    Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

    Miss P

    9 November 2010 09:29

  6. Miss P I do believe you are an angel. Thank you so much xxxxxxx

  7. Aw, thanks! I have mymoments...... ;)

  8. At my sister's wedding last year, we didn't want to do expensive headdresses - so we bought cheap silver coloured headbands for £1 from an accessories shop and twisted purple gems, "pearls" and "diamonds" on wire from a florist supply warehouse (pence) round them. They looked great!

    At my wedding, my bridesmaids had little paper roses on wires (from the same supply warehouse) threaded into their hair.

  9. That's awesome! I'd love to see some photos? :) bethanbrunell@gmail.com