Right, Life, Now You're Having it Full in the Face.

Sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason. I'm fairly pragmatic about life, not being alive, that sort of thing but recent times have tested even my resolve.

First, a young gent I grew up with sadly lost his life in an accident I couldn't make his funeral because of Steve's needs. Then our beloved and every youthful Nana Maisey went, then Enid, family friend of 8 decades nearly, she had a stroke, we lost her. Two days before her funeral, our beloved Step Dad went, peacefully and quietly with us at his side, a new experience for Meg and I, I can tell you, and tonight my gorgeous Sister in Law has finally got the rest she so badly needed.

Nana, Enid, Pops and Jo were all ARE ALL larger than life personalities. Many laughs, much straight talking and much, much more will all be missed by many more people than just me. I guess this is just my little tribute to them.

But it's getting a bit ridiculous now. Despite these all being unrelated I wonder how long it'll be before people start crossing the street to avoid us!

It's when stuff like this goes down you really can count your friends even more. My friends have been blinding about Steve's increasing and profound disabilities, and once again they've come up trumps for us this evening with kind messages of support and love.

Once again I feel very loved - and that's lovely.

Now people, I need you to focus for a few moments. I want you to take a great big breath in ........... and summon up every bit of optimism and positivity you have. When you exhale, I want you to send it to my new friend Misha who's going to get some results tomorrow.

We're all rooting for you.

Oh and I'm really sorry peeps who are wanting me to sponsor them for stuff - I will, I promise, but I've been a bit busy, as you know.

On the plus side it puts my disheveled and unfinished house at the bottom of my priority list - where it belongs. It'll get done, it isn't the be all and end all, and it ain't that important. Is it?

To a Very Special Friend

Friends are here for the long term. 30 years plus.

To my very special friend who has no idea how special she is, and who has made my night despite probably thinking that she's ruined everyone's.

Friends will never ask or demand you prove yourself to them. If you feel you have to then you may well be proving yourself to yourself.

Never be fooled by glossy exteriors. People you think have it all are simply lacking in areas they never permit you to see. In the grand scheme of things, no one has done things "the right way" because it doesn't exist.

Everyone has made bad decisions.

Everyone has been taken advantage of/walked over and if they've got away with only that then they're very lucky.

There isn't a competition running for successfulness. It is all relative. What I, you and they perceive to be "successful" today will be different to tomorrow, different to 5 years ago and in different in 3 weeks time. Lives change, alter their focus and shift constantly - it's an ever moving flow, just like friendship.

Friends love each other BECAUSE of their bad points/inabilities/areas of lacking not DESPITE them. Our tender spots make up who we are.

It's absolutely fine to be nervous. Nerves are good and healthy. I have a really good understanding of this now, and a story for another time. It's very easy to be drawn into over compensating, but that's neither helpful or necessary.

Purely and simply, you're a wonderful person, warts and all. You are enough. You're funny, clever, kind, vulnerable and gentle. You're loved by many, just as you are. You've nothing to prove to anyone, especially not yourself.

And finally, it's not about making mistakes, it's about what you do with the ones you do make.