Jam and Jerusalem

Seriously, I know people are surprised at best and laugh at worst when they discover that I'm W.I.

I know it's unusual for someone my age, but it really isn't all jam and Jerusalem. (Although I'm really hoping to learn how to make jam!)

I pride myself on being open minded, strong, and tolerant with interests in many areas, and being in the W.I. helps me to pursue those interests and values. I am the youngest by a few years, shall we say, but only in body. My W.I. friends are really fun, interesting ladies with really valid and interesting opinions and I don't see why expanding your social circle to include a different (sometimes several different) age group should be a bad thing?

We're always told that age is just a number, so why are people so un-nerved by an organisation like the W.I.? Yes, there are some formalities, and they're certainly not my favourite bits, but you have to put up with some things you're not keen on. You can't have your cake AND eat it.

Yes there are a few "hardcore" W.I. members who would rather keep it in the dark ages, but you're always going to get them everywhere. And they do get a little narky as they get older! But inter-generational conversation is rarely a bad thing, things change, develop and move on, but we still need the skills that our previous generations honed. What better place to learn them than W.I. and have a really good laugh while you're doing it!

My friends are so supportive of everything that I do. It's a genuinely respectful friendship, with benefits like discounts for being part of the organisation. I wouldn't be without my ladies for a minute, and have forged some genuine and unlikely friendships, like my old Home Economics teacher.

And best of all, it gives you some lovely excuses to dress up!

To a Very Special Friend

Friends are here for the long term. 30 years plus.

To my very special friend who has no idea how special she is, and who has made my night despite probably thinking that she's ruined everyone's.

Friends will never ask or demand you prove yourself to them. If you feel you have to then you may well be proving yourself to yourself.

Never be fooled by glossy exteriors. People you think have it all are simply lacking in areas they never permit you to see. In the grand scheme of things, no one has done things "the right way" because it doesn't exist.

Everyone has made bad decisions.

Everyone has been taken advantage of/walked over and if they've got away with only that then they're very lucky.

There isn't a competition running for successfulness. It is all relative. What I, you and they perceive to be "successful" today will be different to tomorrow, different to 5 years ago and in different in 3 weeks time. Lives change, alter their focus and shift constantly - it's an ever moving flow, just like friendship.

Friends love each other BECAUSE of their bad points/inabilities/areas of lacking not DESPITE them. Our tender spots make up who we are.

It's absolutely fine to be nervous. Nerves are good and healthy. I have a really good understanding of this now, and a story for another time. It's very easy to be drawn into over compensating, but that's neither helpful or necessary.

Purely and simply, you're a wonderful person, warts and all. You are enough. You're funny, clever, kind, vulnerable and gentle. You're loved by many, just as you are. You've nothing to prove to anyone, especially not yourself.

And finally, it's not about making mistakes, it's about what you do with the ones you do make.