The End is Nigh!

Having decided that gardening is not my thing, I was quite pleased to take delivery of my onions grown down the mountain. Luckily, our goat is of no use to man nor beast, so he hasn't eaten them, or anything else really, other than goat nuts and a few thistles. Weird creature.

So this is the busy week coming up, I have the secret event happening on Friday, so, the house needs to be spick and span, and the Christmas decorations up beautifully. I asked hubby if we had to bother doing it a second time in December (seems pointless to me!) and he just told me not to be so miserable!

It's my niece's birthday next month, so I made her the cushion cover at the top. It's really pretty and I'm quite pleased with it, didn't take too long either, about six hours. That's another one to tick off the list. I did buy the pink felt, (80p) but the ribbon was scrounged, the buttons I already had in the house, and the fabric is beautiful damask cotton (formerly my bedroom curtains!), so I hope it'll stay with her for many years to come.

The Christmas cakes are done. Finally. Never underestimate a Christmas cake. Now, the box that contains all the cakes is so heavy I can't even drag it. So on tho the next thing, the edible tree decorations. Having learned many valuable lessons from making the cakes, I am now perfecting the gingerbread BEFORE embarking on the big bake. I need a perfect batch for next week's exciting event, but then the big bake will be reserved for immediately before the presents are to be given, for freshness purposes.

Rude and Crude - and wedding cake!

Mission birthday cake achieved and delivered. Really, really late. Terribly sorry about that Step-mother. Follow up gift DEFINITELY required.

Polling day. Finally. Maybe the news will talk about something else after the next day or so. I must be honest I was SO confused about what to do and who to vote for that I did consider not voting. The trouble with that was that every time I closed my eyes I could see Emiline Pankhurst chaining herself to railings. But the thing is, the people I want in power where I live sadly are representatives of the person I do not want in power in Westminster.

So, I ask this question. Talking of the oil spillage, which we weren't. Why is it that BP have sought to stick a massive bung in the hole spewing crude oil in to the gulf area after 16 days? Would it not have been a better idea to have done it immediately?

I heard earlier that BP were adopting a new approach earlier today. Instead of stood watching the oil gush out, thumb up bum, they were going to try to "catch" the oil and try to store it in a tanker. Well, I bet the person that came up with THAT idea has a degree in cunningness from the university of cunning. For goodness sake people.

And why is it that several news stations, naming no names (Radio 1 Newsbeat and Radio 4 - yes, I kid you not Radio 4), have reported in the last week that "authorities are worried about the environmental disaster that could be posed by the oil spillage". Is it not already an environmental disaster?!?! Exactly how could it dissipate with no other consequences? Bloody BP, profit before everything - they've got us over an (oil) barrel though, haven't they?

Well, I've just been told that Hubby had to go out and buy another sack of Goat fodder yesterday as the little blighter had pulled the other sack down and eaten it.

Apparently, she (her sex is once again up for debate - Hubby's convinced of her maleness!) has only gone and pulled the new bag down and eaten that now too! I hear she can barely move, she's eaten so bloomin' much. The fat get!

And Ms. Brooks reports that while tasting lush, my beetroot soup has the effect of a 1980's plaque highlighting tablet on her teeth! Ha ha ha ha ha - I'd pay good money to see that! I'm locking up my food cupboard tomorrow as Ms. Callan and her "gentleman caller" are coming to visit and she might try to rob more of my scran. You know what she's like. I think I'll knock up a little banana cake to give some (unnecessary) assistance to the nuptial arrangements.

Countdown to the Highlight of the Year

This has been my weekend in work, hence the quietness. But I'm fairly free, other than my regulars, now for a fortnight.

So Madame is settling in lovely. Only trouble is (she says it like she thinks it's a bad thing!) the little Madame is getting really quite attached to me. To the point that if I go out the back and I'm not going down to see her, I have to hide or she shouts her head off at me! The kisses are getting more frequent, and I've discovered her very favorite thing in the world other than newly fluffed up straw - Rich Tea biscuits. They apparently are like nectar! So Goat Central visitors come prepared, just in case I'm not to ensure some contact!

In my few hour off over the weekend I've taken advantage of the sun and gone and spent a good few hours sitting with her. I have had a little project to do down there also. I have this knotted string bag thing that I keep my onions in. It came around some of those pointless decorative wicker balls from Ikea and has served it's replacement purpose very well. But it's now falling to pieces and is irreparable as it's just deteriorated. So I used some garden twine and I copied it. Took me best part of 3 hours but was simple, therapeutic and effective. Also the chances of me coming down in the morning to find my kitchen covered in free rolling onions are dramatically reduced. As per usual, not content with just making one thing that simple and useful, I'll be rolling it out for a multitude of predominantly fruit and veg holding purposes. Amongst other things, I expect!

I bought a plastic greenhouse the other day. I figured it'd last me a year or two until I assess it's use age and whether or not to think about a glass one or something similar. Sadly, it's not yet up as there were no screws in the box. Hubby has been busy making our Southfork style gates for the land over the last couple of days anyway so he probably hasn't had 5 minutes to find new screws let alone put it up. I might do it myself tomorrow, but, as usual after only 2 full days (0800 - 2300) of work, the house it a state.

I'm still dying to get on with my weekend bag I have in my mind, but the official Download countdown has started, so I'm starting to think about what I need/want, have to make/mend and alter. Starting with my cowboy sun hat. It needs to be different to the other 20,000 people that wear them. I'm thinking buttons. And I'm still ever hopeful that I'll have a men's trilby in black or grey or something similar donate by then too.

COME ON CALLAN - GET CRACKING!!!

*** NEWSFLASH *** ***GOAT HEADLINE NEWS ***

Well I think I've found my calling in life.

I like horses, but I know they're an awful lot of commitment and work that I'm not sure I'm up to. Goats, are a lot less of the same sort of work, but still a lot of fun. I think the teenager of the house might disagree with me there though!

So anyway, the goat headline. Are you ready?

Thanks to my local friendly smallholding neighbour, Hubby and he discovered that....

HE IS ACTUALLY A SHE!!!

There is a distinct lack of todger and presence of boobies. Within a few seconds of the discovery she had miraculously turned from a handsome young man to a sexy doe. I wonder if you can buy hoof paint?

So, Duffle is now "Madame". And I think her name suits the little cow just beautifully. She makes our Labrador look like a brain surgeon. But she's starting to love me, and I just adore her. She fogged up my glasses today sniffing me, follows me everywhere and I got a proper full on goat kiss. It does mean that Ms Callan needs to stop flirting with my goat totty now, or pledge allegiance to the "other side"!

Did you know goats suck up water to drink? I bloody didn't! I nearly wet myself when she puckered up in her drink trough earlier! She got herself a proper food basket today from our smallholding neighbour too.

So I've been doing some research about keeping. There is actually a "goat keeping for dummies" book available! The second most interesting thing I've really learned is that it really is quite important to have a herd, even if that means just two (I'm rather liking the look of the pygmy goats!) but far more important than that

I'VE FOUND A CROCHET PATTERN FOR GOAT SWEATERS!!!

Take a look at this ... I'm so in love...I feel a herd coming on ...

http://fiascofarm.com/goats/goatsweater.htm#crochetkid

Tap-Dancing Hooves and Migraines

So it's nearly 4am on Friday, not my usual blogging hour, or waking hour for that matter. But I figured that seeing as I'm suffering from a little migraine based sleep deprivation I'd get up and share with you the events of yesterday and the sitcom that became my life.

Duffle, you've been with us for 3 days and already had the whole family, nay street, in fits!

So yesterday morning, as per Thursday usual, I'm up at the fruit and veg co-op and the girls are taking the mickey out of me as usual for the sheer volume of fruit and veg we consume in our house. I'm particularly ravenous yesterday morning as, I explain to the girls, I've had a migraine hanging about. Migraines come from stomachs, and I've been having some slightly odd food cravings as my body tries to process whatever it is that's giving me the migraine. So I scoff even more fruit the second it comes off the delivery van than usual, while remarking that I may actually have worms because of the obsession I have with food at the moment.

So after the co-op, I go home and announce that I'm not going out on the mountain as I need to catch up on the housework, and, being food obsessed, I was going to cook a carrot and onion thick soup and a veggie curry, then give some to Ms Brooks when I dropped her order off later.

I get cracking on the top floor of housework and I'm starting to notice my headache coming back. I try to ignore it and move on, so I'm peeling some veggies to part cook for my curry and I start to feel a bit ropey. 5 minutes after the veggies are in the steamer, I very quickly realize that I have a choice. Either give in to the migraine and get to bed or pass out and throw up. Little lights flashing around the sides of my eyes, stomach cramps , the lot.

So I quickly text the world to let them know not to disturb me as I'm not feeling very well and to get them to make sure I'm up in time for work at half seven. Was touch and go at that moment I was feeling so ropey.

So I get into bed, having taken a shed load of painkillers and some kaolin and morphine, and I'm lying still in bed for fear of hurling, wearing nothing but my socks and bra. I was intending putting my pyjamas on but I got the shakes, so I got in part dressed. Lush.

It then became apparent that the light was bothering me, so I got a pair of Hubby's (clean) pants out of the drawer and draped them over my eyes. Much better. But the smell of the part cooked cauli from the kitchen was threatening to have me pebble dash my own duvet cover, so up I got again, found the Vick's, and slapped a wodge under my nose. God, my Hubby's a lucky man. So sexy.

As is usual for me with migraines, I'm finding it hard to power down my brain ready for the re-boot, so I resort to sheep counting and pretending it's a cold wet Tuesday morning and I have to get up in order to drop off to re-boot sleep, and I finally manage it after ages.

And then within 5 minutes of dropping off, you know when you just get that sense that something is awry and needs your urgent attention?

So up I shoot and straight to the bedroom window that looks over onto our mountain. What sight do I behold as I gaze out into the sun? Hubby has gone out, leaving Duffle tethered up at the top of the mountain, and the little get is currently tap dancing on the bonnet of my car. You couldn't make it up.

So I'm stood there in my bizarre partial attire, still with the pants on my head and the Vick's up my nose trying to take in the sight and re format my faulty brain into action to do something about the little routine being performed before my very eyes.

At that point I can hear than my next door neighbours are laughing their heads off and sending one of their kids around to tell me what's going on. Meg has passed out on the sofa, having undertaken and art and history marathon, and I can hear her blaspheming down stairs about the poxy goat waking her up now too, so I dash down and she asks me what she has to do to get the hooves off the now roof of my car.

I instruct her that she has to take his lead further down the mountain to by his house. I know the old adage - when you "presume" you "make an ass out of u and me" but I PRESUMED that she wouldn't unhook said goat from said lead, unfortunately, my instructions weren't specific enough, and Duffle is off like a shot down the lane with half of the street following him at high speed.

The newly awoken Meg springs into action in her leopard print slippers and manages to get a lead on all the other runners and wannabe riders while I look on, slightly furious, I don't mind telling you, with Hubby for interrupting my re-boot sleep with goat based antics, but at the same time unable to resist the hilarity of the situation. I've still got the pants on my head etc, by the way.

So I shoot back upstairs to get dressed so that I can help, but I'm not sure if Meg has keys, her phone was on the sofa so I couldn't find out where she was to help, so I had an agonizing 10 minute wait past this point and some annoyed phone calls with Hubby who couldn't help but fall about laughing.

Eventually, after what felt like 15 hours, hubby pulls up in the car and just As he's getting out, one of our puffing and blowing neighbours comes around the corner and exclaims that "she's got it!" fairly closely followed by the goat-hating teenager with Duffle trotting along nicely feeling rather pleased with himself, surrounded by a blue cloud of cursing, panting and swearing from Meg, so Steve gets him on one of the dogs leads and reins him home.

The little get ran nearly all the way to Llanhilleth, well over a mile.

You can imagine it now, can't you? In pubs and at dinner tables all over the valleys yesterday evening "Hey love, you never guess what I saw today? I was driving down the main road from Swffryd to Llan and there was this girl in leopard print slippers chasing a goat with a red collar on down the side of the road! I've never seen anything like it in my life!"

I've got quite attached to the hoof prints on my windscreen now.