A Very Royal Wedding

I loved it. I care not what anyone thinks, I enjoyed myself more yesterday than I have for weeks, so exactly how can that be a bad thing?

I will be nipping out for my souvenir specials later on my way down the hospital - and I don't even apologise for it. I just wish I still had all my Charles and Diana stuff.

So, I'm still up and down the hospital, it's day 12 in the big brother house, and there are going to be a whole lot more. It's draining, exhausting and one of the most difficult things I've ever done, and it really has taken our marriage to a whole different level. I've done things I could never imagine doing, and become a person I never thought I could be. I've taken our circumstances to all the best people and asked for the thing I most hate asking for - help. And now comes the really hard part - waiting.

I've tried to keep things ticking over a bit normality wise, so I've started crocheting a very plain baby shawl for my nephew due in August, and I knocked up a little dress that still isn't finished from a duvet cover I loved. Not got 'round to photos yet though.

Be right back :)

"So," I hear you cry, "what have you been making then?"

Well ... calorie free cakes, for a start! I must be honest I'm cheating posting this picture actually because it's not really for this blog, it's for Twisted Sisters really. It and a load of others will be strategically placed in public places with a Twisted Sisters business card attatched, hopin to attract more lovely ladies to join our group. They're a bit of fun, aren't they?! (And £7 each in the posh haberdashers in Monmouth)

And I've been doing some work on "the prom dress" allthough you could be forgiven for thinking I was just about to declare war on a small country and this is my battle table. I thank the lord for my Nan's old oak drop leaf dining table.

And I've been doing some work on "the prom dress" although you could be forgiven for thinking I was just about to declare war on a small country and this is my battle table. I thank the lord for my Nan's old oak drop leaf dining table

So then of course we had Mother's Day. I had a lovely tea cup and saucer necklace from my Daughter, which was gorgeous, but the card she gave me was SO much better. I will scan it one day so you can see what she wrote, it was great!

...but I can't pretend to have thought up the idea for my "visitable" Mumatron/Step Mother/Grand Mother - it was actually "borrowed" from Helen's sister, and I believe she in turn "borrowed" it from Marks and Sparks, who were doing the same thing and charging £15 for.

I got some bean tins, soaked them, got the labels off as best I could - the glue was the problem, and as I've not had a lot of time I could have got it off better than I did. On the tins, I stick double layered vintage labels, and in the tins (three holes in the bottom for drainage) were two Peacock Lillies in each. Three tins were celophane wrapped (have you any idea how expensive that stuff is?!?) and tied with ribbon. The lillies will grow in the tins on a windowsill - no need to plant out; and recycled too!

My Mum in law gave me a mahoosive bag of fabric last year and I'd not used a lot of it, so I decided to use some of the pansy fabric I had as it's just SO pretty, so I made little tote bags (remarkably to an excellent standard and finish! Not like me at all!) to put them in, and I just finished it off with little print of the three of us in sepia and Victorian costume on the old fashioned baggage label - and I can honestly say, everyone loved them.

For my Mum in law, I made a shopping bag with her initials beaded on, out of the same fabric - I have to post hers up north, you see, and I couldn't guarantee the tins staying intact - or not costing me a fortune! She could see that her donations were very gratefully received, and she loves the bag. Once again, I didn't make myself one and I'm a bit gutted but I have got enough pansy fabric to make a "statement skirt" a la Emily Jayne Style Consultancy, so all is not lost, and with a bit of luck a wee bag to match that!

And last but not least - the mothers day cards. Dymo machine, pinking shears left over pansy fabric and some glue. Nuff said!

Oh and stay tuned for some VERY exciting news!

Smoke'n'Mirrors

It's been a while. Those that know me know what I've been up to. Nothing terribly exciting or rock'n'roll, just my better half becoming increasingly poorly - long term poorly. And he needs me to do an awful lot for him, and that's the way it's going to be for a while. Quite a while, by the seem of it.

I think that's the very worst bit of it for him. The constant feeling of being full on ill with severe vertigo, deafness and tinnitus at the same time and having lost the proper use of his left side is way bad enough, but for a proud, stubborn, Northerner, loosing independence is far, far worse.

But that's just the way it is these days, no point thinking "I shouldn't be this dependent" you just are. Deal with it. I have.

It's funny, funny "queer", not funny "ha ha" , but under extreme circumstances, you learn what you're capable of and you learn who your friends really are. It's taken me about 6 weeks to learn things I've been trying to learn for 34 years in respect of time management, priority management and delegation and most importantly, saying no. For years, I've not been able to say no to anyone, virtually, who has asked me to do anything, but I'm getting quite good at it.

Of course it really would help if your friends would see how you are juggling faster than ever and not ask in the first place.

And I've learned what it's like to have a real struggle. Everything before this has just been a practice.

So you can't say nothing good has come out of the situation.

And I've realized that big organisations are a smoke screens. Their "mission statement", their PR, their printed stuff, their website may show them to be dynamic, progressive, positive, but the bare bones of it at ground level is usually very, very different. Of course, I've always known this really, but as I get older the more obvious, disappointing and downright demoralizing this is.

The same as politics can never really be "for the people" until it ceases to be about the ego's of politicians, the big organizations, charities or companies, are more about the ego of the brand and the board of directors/trustees, than doing a good job helping the people they set out to help, or providing the service they set out to provide.

Of course there are benefits to being part of a big organization. It gives you a certain amount of protection and job security, but I've really learned to look way past the brand power, to the grass roots level. Of course we all need organisation, but it isn't a fixed thing, it needs to adapt. It's the bare bones of it that makes the difference, the people providing the service, delivering the goods, that are the REAL company. And a lot of them are crap.

Last Friday, I took Steve for an ENT appointment and the clinic was running 1 3/4 hours late. It was all he could do to not pass out, and while we were waiting to go in, the Consultant and the Nurses/Technicians were calling people for testing that had just gone into the Consultant, and vice versa. Just doesn't make sense to me.

We live in a Labour stronghold. Irrelevant of your political persuasions, you'd think that the Assembly Member to pick up Steve's requirements and run with them to get him the support he's entitled to, would be the Labour for the constituency we belong to. No, it was a Conservative minister that doesn't even cover our area.

I am no longer going to be taken in by brands. I will make my decision about who to use/trust/depend on/order from based on the individuals I come into contact with and push the brand aside. I've said it before - "It's all about the little people".

There's a big rock club opening this weekend and the whole world will be going. I won't. For two reasons. 1- If Steve fell when I was out working, that'd be one thing, if he fell because I was out dancing, that'd be something else. and 2- Even if I did go, I'm just not in the mood. I'm a bit more tired than usual, and got a lot more on than usual, so I'm not going, and I actually don't care.

Believe it or not, I have actually still made some stuff since we last spoke. Mother's day, ummm, Mothers day, oooo and I started on "the prom dress", but it's not got much further than starting. Perhaps this weekend will be it's debut.

We've got loads to catch up on, haven't we? I'll post again tomorrow, so grab yourself a cuppa and we'll chat then

B xxx